Wrecked Book 4 Read online

  I poured myself a cup of coffee, taking my time to fill it up carefully and blowing on it a little to help cool it down before finally taking a sip. I felt like they were watching me, as though maybe they didn’t entirely believe my story, but it was paranoia. Derek and Kass were looking at each other, not me, having a conversation that I’d missed half of, thanks to my need to extend my time at the coffee pot.

  “… that girl that Mark’s seeing?” Kass asked Derek.

  He nodded his head, taking a quick sip before responding, “Yeah, you mentioned her. A real weirdo, right?”

  Kass nodded her head. “Mhm.”

  “What about her?”

  “I heard she’s hanging out with Lexie now,” she said. Her words sounded suspiciously like gossip and part of me reminded the rest of me that I wasn’t interested in gossip—and really never had been—but I couldn’t help but be intrigued. Mostly because it was about Lexie.

  “Who’s hanging out with Lexie?” I asked, coming over to lean on the counter, careful to stand by Kass and not Derek.

  Having effectively inserted myself back into the conversation, Kass glanced over at me. She had a weird look on her face for a moment, but then shrugged and said, “You know. That girl. From the other night.” She hesitated, and when I still didn’t get it, she sighed and said, “Miranda.”

  I froze, my coffee half way to my lips. Kass was confirming the thing I was most afraid of. Any hopes that this was maybe just a coincidence flew out the window. They were definitely friends. “Miranda is hanging out with Lexie?” I asked just to be sure.

  Kass nodded her head. “Yeah, Mark said he wasn’t sure what to think of that. Said that Lexie is so trashy and just seems to get worse all the time, you know?”

  I did know. And more important than being trashy, I also knew she was a liar. “I thought you said Lexie was okay,” I told her pointedly.

  She pursed her lips together. “It was in context,” she defended, lifting her chin slightly. “I really just meant that she probably wasn’t lying or making it up. Not that she wasn’t a tramp.”

  Letting out a little laugh, I shook my head. “You’re a little unbelievable sometimes, you know it?”

  “What?” she asked, gesturing with her hand to indicate that she was being completely normal. “She is a tramp, but tramps aren’t liars.”

  “And tramps are better than liars, right?” I added.

  She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, returning to her coffee. “I didn’t make the rules,” she told me taking a quick, dainty sip.

  Derek glanced between the two of us as though we were speaking a foreign language. Given that he hadn’t been present for our last conversation about Lexie—thank god, because I didn’t know how I would have done with the both of them there—he had no way of understanding what we were really talking about.

  “About all I got from that conversation just now was that Lexie is a tramp.”

  Both Kass and I laughed, and I took a moment to appreciate that not everything was complicated or the plot to some bad teen horror movie. Moments like these were precious, and I kept forgetting that I was still lucky enough to have them.

  “It’s a long story,” I told him, but Kass finished for me.

  “But that’s pretty much the important parts of it.”

  Chapter 3

  I didn’t get coffee with Derek that night, mostly because me, Derek, and Kass spent a couple of hours hanging out in the kitchen and I didn’t feel the need to add my fourth coffee of the day to my system. I was fairly certain that my body was already going to be pretty upset with me for putting so much caffeine and sugar into my system—most of it well into the evening, too.

  But we did talk and laugh together. I got to know him a little better, and all of what I learned reinforced my belief that he was a good guy. He was, in a way, like a male version of Kass. Fun and outgoing, full of life, but also responsible. Just not to the point where it was obsession (like me).

  For a few hours I was able to push Logan and his confession from my mind, as well as the image of Lexie and Miranda swaying together.

  Eventually, we called it a night though. I didn’t think I’d fall asleep anytime soon, but I wanted to use the time I was going to be up to be productive at least, and I felt like Derek staying wasn’t conducive to that. Plus, Kass wanted to call James before it got too late—and they’d talk for at least an hour, probably more.

  But Derek and I did confirm plans for tomorrow. A coffee date between classes was exactly the sort of pick me up that would get me through the day—and remind me that Logan wasn’t the sort of guy I needed in my life, confession of love or no. Derek was.

  Tonight only reaffirmed that.

  We said goodnight at the door. He ventured a kiss to my cheek, which got a smile out of me and a snicker out of his sister. I think we both agreed that no one wanted to be making out in front of Kass.

  “I’ll text you tomorrow,” he told me, smiling as he waved good night and left.

  I waved also, “Yeah. I’ll respond this time, promise.”

  He gave a quick laugh, making it down the steps to the sidewalk. I closed the door behind him. Kass squealed from behind me. “Oh, you guys are so cute together! I knew this was the perfect match!” she told me excitedly, and I realized that this had all been a set up from the get go. She’d always wanted me to date her brother, and knew that all she had to do was throw us together to make it happen.

  I rolled my eyes at her. “You are weirdly invested in your brother’s future. You do realize that, right?” I teased her.

  She shrugged, letting it roll down her back without doing any damage. “Meh. He needs some investment. Besides, this way I don’t have to deal with you bringing home some jackass that I don’t know and I don’t have to scare away whatever bimbo he ends up picking.”

  “Are you saying you don’t trust his judgment?” I asked as we both headed up the stairs towards our separate rooms.

  She glanced over her shoulder at me. “Well, duh.”

  I stopped on one of the middle steps, putting my hands on my hips. “Hey! He picked me, didn’t he?”

  Turning around, she rolled her eyes at me. “Oh, please. Don’t even pretend to be all offended. He picked you because I told him all of the awesome things about you before he even saw you. Then he saw your cleavage and the deal was sealed.”

  I dropped my mouth open at her and did my best to be offended, but she knew I was only kidding. She did laugh at my expression though and ran the rest of the way up the stairs as I chased her. She disappeared into her room just as I slung a rubber band from my wrist at her. It hit the door.

  She poked her head back out quickly and said, “You’re welcome and good night.” Then she closed her door again lest I have any more ammunition.

  I let out a sigh, but smiled a little anyway. Derek was a good guy and I should have been thanking her. She really did do me a favor. My smile faded a little.

  I just hoped that I deserved that favor.

  Closing the door behind me, I stripped out of my clothes and pulled out my favorite sleep shirt. Then I grabbed my text books and piled them open in front of me on the desk. Pulling up a chair, I got cracking.

  I stared down at the words in my book for hours. The words on the page began to blur and I yawned heavily, desperately trying to stay awake and concentrate.

  I closed my eyes for just a moment…

  I opened them and took a deep breath. Trying to get back to my book, there was a knock on the door. I was surprised. It was late and I couldn’t imagine who would be here this late. Pushing back my desk chair, I got up and moved towards the door.

  “Kass?” I asked, because who else would it be?

  But when I pulled open the door, it wasn’t Kass. Standing in front of me was Logan. His hair was hanging loose around his face, blonde strands falling into his eyes. They were stormy, swirling with emotion and passion.

  I opened my mouth to say something—what was he doing here
? Hadn’t I just told him that I couldn’t do this?—but before I could get a word out, he’d stepped forward his hands going to my face. He cupped my cheeks, holding me in place as he leaned down to press his lips against mine.

  I didn’t even try to resist; I couldn’t and more importantly I didn’t want to. His mouth was warm against mine and it felt like he was breathing life into me. My eyes fluttered closed, I couldn’t help it, and I felt passion race through my body as his tongue slipped between my lips.

  My hands thought for themselves, reaching out for him. They found his muscled body, taut with passion and intensity and need. My hands started at his shoulders, but couldn’t stop there. They slid down along his chest, the muscles tight and tense beneath my fingertips. He continued to kiss me as my hands went lower, trailing over his abs until they hit the waistband of his jeans.

  His hands were large, shifting so that his right hand could weave into my long hair, tangling up in the strands, while his left hand went the opposite direction. He found the small of my back and pressed on it, making me shift forward suddenly. My body collided with his, my breasts pressing against his chest and our hips lined up perfectly.

  He broke the kiss so that he could trail smaller ones along my face, down my neck and along my shoulders. He kissed and licked and nibbled at my skin, pulling back the already loose, low collar of my nightshirt so that he had better access to my bare skin.

  I couldn’t say anything. My mind was too filled with him—the way he smelled like car batteries, shaving cream, and body wash. The way he tasted like salt and something tangy, but rich. The way he felt hot and hard and tense against my body. My senses were on fire with everything that made up him.

  No, I couldn’t get a word out, even when his lips were occupied elsewhere on my body. All I could do was let out a low moan of pleasure.

  My hands found the hem of his tight black t-shirt and began to tug at it. I pulled it up partially, exposing his cut abdomen to the hot air swirling around us. My hands pressed flat against his skin and he sucked it a sharp breath.

  Straightening up, he pulled his shirt off the rest of the way, tossing it to the floor. Then he went to my shirt and asking without words, he pulled it up over my head. I wasn’t wearing a bra and didn’t have anything on but my boy shorts. I felt bare before him, but not embarrassed. We’d done this before and as soon as he closed the distance between us, crushing my chest against his, I knew it would be great again.

  We found the bed, kissing and touching the entire way to it. He laid me down carefully on my back, crawling over me. His pants were gone and soon there was nothing between us. We came together and fire burned inside me.

  All I wanted was him. All I wanted…

  My eyes snapped open, my heart beating heavily inside my chest as I woke up in a sweat. My sheets were pushed off and tangled around my feet. My hair was matted down, damp and sticking to the skin of my neck.

  It had felt so real… and worst of all, though I was awake now, all I wanted was to feel Logan inside me again.

  Chapter 4

  I was still shaken up by the dream when I got ready for school that morning. It had been so vivid, so real, and in the dream, I’d done absolutely nothing to deter Logan’s advances. Worse, my body was still responding as though it had been real. I was on fire, my skin shiny with sweat and my heart pounding in my chest. Inside, I felt as though all of me was pulsing with desire.

  For Logan, which was the problem.

  I solved that problem by pretending it didn’t exist and going straight to the shower. A cold shower. I was shivering with goose bumps all along my skin when I got out, but I didn’t feel like I was filled with molten lava about to spill over and around my body at any moment.

  So I guess that was something.

  I got ready quickly, focusing on picking out the right books, something cute, but demure to wear, and straightening my hair until it was flat, shiny, and in no way wild to speak of.

  The result was I looked boring. Inside, there was still a big part of me that hated that. That just wanted to be myself for a change and embrace the passion for life that was within me. But the last time I’d done that, I’d gotten my best friend killed.

  No, better to be boring and not hurt anyone, than to be true to myself and end up wounding the people in my life who mattered the most.

  It was an easy sacrifice to make, I told myself. And it served as a type of punishment, too. Anyone who knew the old me would have to see that being cooped up while I pushed the darker parts of my nature down would have to know that I wasn’t happy.

  I’m not happy.

  It was the first time in a long time that I admitted to myself that the decisions I’d made since high school weren’t making me happy with life. I ignored them most of the time, because who cared whether or not I was happy? I wasn’t doing all of this for me, after all. I was doing this for Beck.

  Not that Miranda could see that.

  Letting out a sound of frustration and a little hopelessness, I grabbed my packed bag and my sweater, then headed out. I tromped down the stairs quickly, not worrying about whether or not I was being too loud. If they were still asleep at this hour, then that was their own problem.

  I wasn’t going to worry about it. God knew, I had enough on my plate already.

  Kass was in the kitchen sipping at some milk as I blew past her. I gave her a quick wave and she called out to me, but I didn’t stop to hear what she said. I fled for the door as quickly as possible, determined to get the hell out of there without having to address anything that might have happened last night, what was supposed to happen today, and most importantly, what my traitorous mind might have been feeding me while I slept.

  The door slammed behind me and I headed towards campus at a brisk pace. I pulled my coat on and closed it tightly around my body. Glancing at my watch, I realized that I was a little early. Not to the point that I would get there before anyone else was—there were always a few early birds lingering—but it would be more than a few minutes before class started.

  Deciding that meant I had some time for coffee—my new and kindest addiction—I headed towards the coffee shop I usually frequented when I wanted some me time. The campus was giving off a soft buzz of early morning activity. Everyone I passed had that expression of yawning tiredness, that half dead expression that suggested not enough sleep or too much alcohol or just plain old continuous stress. Some people were frantically studying their books as they walked, as though a big test was that day and there was just too much to know, too much to expect and they were left awash in despair and hopelessness.

  I stopped outside of the coffee shop, hesitating as I stared at it. The corner walls where the door was were made mostly of glass. There were tables inside lining the walls, allowing for students and professors and any other potential patrons to sit at these tables to easily see outside onto the campus. There were several occupied tables now, though the majority of them were empty. Most people were getting their morning coffee to go, aiming to get a little pick me up before the start of class or before a big study session.

  Midterms were coming up fairly quickly, after all.

  Inside, I saw a young woman sitting at one of the tables. Her books were set out in front of her, though she was staring out the window instead of looking down at them. Her blonde hair was pulled back away from her face, as though she didn’t have enough time to do anything with it that morning before leaving. Her make-up was done heavily, making her look older than she probably was, and beneath her large, warm coat, I imagined that she was dressed to impress—in all the wrong ways.

  She was a pretty girl, I thought, and her text book and the fact that it was before noon suggested that she was a fairly intelligent, hard working student—all assumptions on my part, of course. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of irritation and anger that I got from seeing her sitting there.

  I pursed my lips and turned away from the coffee shop as I realized just what it was that bothered me so mu
ch about her. She reminded me of Lexie.

  Worse, that whole place reminded me of Lexie. She had taken over that place, sitting there with her lattes and her heavy eye makeup, crossing her legs like she owned the place. I no longer felt like it was somewhere I could go to get away from people and the pressures of this ‘good girl’ life. Now, it was tainted with her and if I wanted coffee, I was going to have to go somewhere else to get it.

  Angrily, I stomped away from my favorite little coffee shop. I was annoyed at being forced away from a place where I usually took refuge. And it was all Lexie’s fault.

  My mind flashed to the way she was stumbling next to Miranda, both of them laughing hysterically about nothing. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was really wrong with that picture. Miranda was stressing me out a lot, but that didn’t mean I wanted her to get into trouble. And the more I got to know her, the more I was pretty sure that Lexie was trouble.

  I thought about talking to Miranda, explaining that she shouldn’t be trying so hard to ruin her life, but the thought quickly passed right through.

  Who was I to tell her things like that?

  Shaking my head, I continued to walk towards my class. I’d just wait there until it started. I really didn’t need any more coffee. Yesterday I’d had an awful lot, staying up talking with Derek and Kass.

  Derek.

  I winced. I was supposed to meet him for coffee after my classes today. He so earnestly seemed interested in me, and I had to admit that I definitely liked him. He was sweet and attractive, and the whole musician thing was pretty hot, even if he wasn’t going to be the next big pop star or anything.

  My problem wasn’t with Derek. It was with the fact that I was having intense dreams about Logan that was my problem. If I could push him away, erase him from my mind, I was sure I could focus on Derek long enough to make things work.